The Final Countdown

The Final Countdown 

We knew the day was approaching

So it shouldn’t have sent shockwaves

When it finally rounded the bend,

But it did just the same.

It was a phone call I anticipated

But wasn’t quite ready for.

 

“Dad decided to stop his dialysis.”

 

The day before dad shared his heart,

His ‘dread of dialysis’ recently 

Due to the unbearable pain

caused by the aggressive blood draw

putting immense stress on his abdomen.

I could tell in his voice that it was

A harbinger of what was to come.

 

There’s been bad news along the way,

But something about this update

Sucker-punched my innards 

With a crushing and grave finality.

Heidi asked how the news made me feel

And I could barely reply.

My throat was tight with terror

As my eyes welled up with tears.

 

I hung up the phone stunned,

all alone at my office desk—

I just broke, then broke down.

The guttural sounds that surfaced

Were like nothing I’d ever heard

Pouring from my mouth.

It’s a bone chilling, heartfelt ache—

Deep calling to deep.

 

We knew when he stopped dialysis

That he had anywhere from 10-14 days left:

5 days being aware and engaged,

4 days of increased lethargy and sleep,

And 4 days slipping into a coma-like state.

 

So we’re on the clock so to speak,

Entering the final countdown.

The Lord knows his last breathe.

 

For those of you who are praying,

We so appreciate the intercession

And would ask you direct it toward

Imploring God to shield him from pain,

To assuage his human anxieties,

And most importantly,

That he would quietly pass in his sleep.

 

My father has lived well,

May he finish well.

Amen.