Mom - 1 Year anniversary letter

 Dear Mom,

 

I can’t believe today marks one year since your passing.  I’ll admit that I wasn’t prepared for what your departure would do to my soul.  I sure do miss you, Mom.

 

This past fall, the grief of your absence created a hole in me that I wasn’t sure I would ever get out of.  I went to counseling and there were days I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.  It was a darkness that swept across the landscape of my heart so completely that it shadowed every aspect of my life.  I was lost through and through.

 

But I want you to know that I’m doing much better now.  Truly.  I see good around me again.  I look forward to the future.  I feel joy and gratitude.  The holiday season wasn’t easy, but something about getting through our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without you and dad cleared the debris inside of me giving space for light to occupy the dark places.

 

I didn’t know how much I relied on your unique childlike spirit until you were gone, but I’m trying to keep that spirit alive with my own life.  Trying to love people the way you did.  Trying to see the good in people and to go out of my way to make them feel special just like you did.  It’s so fun trying to be like you.

 

This is a sad day for me as I reflect on the first anniversary of your death, but I want you to know that I’ll be ok.  I don’t have much time down here, so I want to pour out my life for the sake of Christ and the world he so loves until I, too, shed this mortal flesh and see you again.  It’s odd to say, but you’re one of the biggest reasons I can’t wait to go to heaven.  I think about it all the time.  

 

I hope you and dad are doing well today.  Give him a hug for me.  I’ll see you both soon.  I love and miss you, Mom.

 

Your son, 

 

Jason