Update on my Withdrawals from Benzo’s…the journey forward.

Last month I shared how I was on Benzo’s and Ambien for almost ten years to assist with sleep and anxiety.  I switched doctors this past year and my new doctor made it abundantly clear that it was dangerous to be on the meds I was on and deleterious to my long term health.  So I began the journey of tapering off my meds trying to find natural remedies to help bring relief.  So here’s an update on where I’m currently at…I hope it lands with someone out there who experiences this themselves or knows someone who battles similar challenges…

 

1.     First, I am still taking ¼ of my Klonopin as I wean away from the dose I was taking.  At first I cut it in half and have tapered down to a fraction of what I was taking.  With the guidance of doctors, I believe I will be off them completely within the next month or two.  I never thought this would be possible.

2.     I have been taking Zinc, Vitamins, Magnesium, Melatonin, and a natural sleeping aid that someone gave me from Amway.  I don’t know all the ins and outs of what is helping and how much, but I do know that I feel way better than I did before.

3.     I am sleeping through the night without Ambien…I haven’t taken an Ambien to help me sleep for over 3 months now.  This is nothing short of a miracle.  It was probably the thing I was most concerned about…the inability to sleep.  So grateful for good, deep sleep.

4.     Speaking of sleep, I used to fall asleep fast and then wake up several times a night with difficulty getting back to sleep after 3am.  For the most part, I sleep through the night for 8 solid hours.  This hasn’t happened since my early 20’s.

5.     I have stayed very disciplined with exercise throughout this process of weaning away from meds.  Physical exertion is essential to releasing natural drugs into my system like endorphins, dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin that help me not slip into deep and dark places in my spirit.  Working out is critical for better sleep and less anxiety.  

6.     I have been going to Max Living twice a week to get chiropractic adjustments to reduce subluxations in my spine, as well as working on things like better breathing for more oxygen, eating better life-giving food, drinking lots of water, and working on a holistic approach to better health.  I think this has been quite effective as the months go on.

7.     I have been drinking less caffeine as well trying to not put stuff in my body that acts as an “upper” but also triggers more anxiety.  I have been drinking juices that are rich in anti-oxidants.  

8.     I have been doing intermittent fasting once—sometimes twice—a week as well trying to focus my mind on God as well as flush out the toxins in my body that can cause inflammation that leads to unhealth.  This is more spiritual for me, but I feel it has an effect on the biological just as much.

9.     On a scale of 1 to 10 my anxiety in the past was between 6 or 9 on most days with a good day landing on 4, but in the last couple months my anxiety has been 5 at the highest and 1 at the lowest.  There have been a couple days where I didn’t feel any chest pain at all for stretches of time.  Again, a miracle.

10.  I still have mild Withdrawal symptoms.  Mostly dizziness on certain days and a foggy brain that struggles to concentrate and recall.  I haven’t had any headaches or fainting spells recently.  I’m not hearing noises and hallucinating anymore. I am feeling better week by week.  I know this is a protracted recovery based on how long I’ve been on these drugs, but I feel I’m kicking these dependencies little by little.

11.  Lastly, I have leaned into relationships more than any other time in my life.  I have shared openly with comrades who will get in the fox hole and fight with me.  The more this moves from secret suffering to confessed struggle, a unique healing occurs.  I’ve always felt that ‘community is the cure’ and I have seen the catharsis of sharing openly and receiving prayer and help from brothers and sisters who love me.

 

I wanted to give an update as a follow-up from my first post.  I have people asking about my afflictions often and I can’t have one-on-one conversations with everyone, but I want to share the hope I’ve found.  I can honestly say I never thought what I’m experiencing would be possible.  I don’t want to dismiss the power of God in all this, because I’m fully aware that I could do all of the aforementioned things and be no closer to healing without the intervention and salvation of God.  He is my Healer and I give him all the glory for how far he has brought me in the last few months.

 

Praying for all those out there who are battling this nameless and faceless mental and physical pain.  I hope my words nudge you toward hope instead of discouragement.  Everyone’s story is different and so my journey may not mirror your journey, but God is faithful to know each unique heart and to give custom care to his sons and daughters.

 

This is my testimony.  Amen.