There she goes... (Aly leaves for college)

There she goes…

She entered this world kicking and screaming,

Bald as an eagle

Fair-skinned and thick-skinned, both

Shrieks and shrills filled the sanitized room

With chills travelling down the spines 

Of her suspecting and immature parents.

There she goes…

Tonged-tied, she stammered and stumbled

Through words and sounds slow and long enough

That it made us wonder if she had all her marbles:

“Beday, Beday, Beday” she would say

As we would look at each other in bewildered dismay.

Is she okay?

There she goes…

Turns out her marbles aligned and she was just fine

Or so we thought, until she freaked out

At the alignment of her sock-seams

Or the feel of her winter jacket

Or the way her toes had to curl at the end of her shoes,

Our first encounter with OCD that led to 

Fits of rage like a rate in cage to quote “Smashing Pumpkins”--

Which I felt like doing when she would act out.

There she goes…

Putting her to bed messed with my head

As I climbed the latter to the bunk above

Only to feel a shove keeping me at arm’s length

Her side of the mattress – her side of the pillow

It had to be cool and unwrinkled

Untouched with the warmth of my body

So I kept my distance as I spoke across the unseen barrier

Into her snowflake of a soul—fearfully unique.

There she goes…

Her motions were wooden, stoic and stiff

Emotions straitjacketed with self-consciousness,

Insecurity and timidity, wicked stepsisters,

Seizing her innocence and freedom prematurely 

Leaving her scared and scarred by interactions

Trying to find her fit, trying to find her voice

Trying…always trying. 

There she goes…

But something shifted. 

What you see isn’t always what you get, 

For just when we feared the worst for her future,

She suddenly and yet subtly changed course

As if born again, a new creature burst forth.

Rigidity fled and Tenderness took up residence.

She melted into my arms at night.

She invited me into her personal space.

She invaded my personal space.

Confidence and Charisma rose like The Phoenix.

There she goes…

The endless ‘trying’ gave way to ‘effortlessness’ 

My girl bound inside herself burst through the chrysalis

And wings once folded within the papoose of pressure

Threshed and thrashed themselves loose

Unfurling by the day and spreading as wide as the world

Until one unnoted moment she was swept away by life

Fright gave way to flight

Wings wide and widening as was her smile.

There she goes…

She soon will leave our arms as quickly as she came

Who is the woman who stands before us now?

Who is this daughter who outshines her parents?

Where is the little lady who stood on my shoes at daddy-daughter dances?

Where is the girl who shied away from unknowns?

Where is the kid who obsessed over shoelace length?

Where is the child who twirled in homemade wedding dresses?

Where is the baby who screamed bloody murder at birth?

Where did that one go? Where did this one come from?  

There she goes…

Into the great unknown without our presence

Wings strong as wind has tested their strength

She soars not without fear, yet fearless.

And she is poised for whatever befalls her,

Time-tested, battle-ready

A warrior woman whose sword is her will,

A will that has bent but never broken.

A will that will, not matter what.

There she goes.