thinking too much...

I didn’t always think so much

Winnowing wildly 

Exposing thoughts to a stiff breeze

The child never knew about the chaff

For better or worse.

No need to knead each notion

Not knowing when to stop

When is enough, enough?

Why do I keep squeezing, stretching

Twisting thoughts until they rise

Proven by the pounding.

I used to climb pines

Rowed meticulously 

By a ghost planter from the past

Seven feet apart or together

Lined like continental soldiers

An evergreen grove tucked in the hardwood.

I would reach the top and look for life

Robinson Crusoe-like

Eyes roaming, combing the land

I made-believed I was stranded

1000 meters from my back porch.

Perched in the pines I pretended

To be desperate. (oh, for those days.)

Mimicking movies I would take flight

A flying squirrel

Lunging toward the nearest tree top

Grasping bows and finding footing

Scrapped shins and bruised forearms

Groping for anything to grab

I didn’t think, I just did.

Who knows enough at that age

--to think things through, I mean?

I fell once.

Like a plinko on ‘The Price is Right’

I ragged-dolled flailing downward

Saved by the staggered branches

Injuring me a little every second

sparing me the painless freefall

to my sure peril.

If I just would have processed

Forecasted future possibilities

Pondering alternate endings

Worm holes of “what ifs” and “if onlys”

Dying a thousand deaths in my mind

To avoid dying a single death in my day.

Never try. Never die.

Worst-case scenarios are a wise man’s excuse

A sage’s defense

To mull things over 

-over and over and over

Until there’s little reason to do anything

Playing it safe is the only playing left

For the old man

Who was once a young boy.

Why did I close my eyes and run stops signs

Gripping handle bars--pounding pulse?

Why did I climb over the fence

Walking the break wall during a storm?

No trespassing! 

Offenders will be prosecuted!

Danger--with skull emblems meant to repel--

Attracted.

When I had more reason to think more

I could care less.

When I have less reasons to think more

I’m careful.

Just one more mock run through.

Let me run the numbers one more time.

Can I check the weather before we leave?

Am I sure?  Do I know?  Is it safe?

I didn’t used to think so much.

For better or worse

I was carefree and careless

The two conjoined as loyal yokefellows

Taking my licks

Just for kicks

Only after the fact was I scared.

When I had time to reflect.

Now I reflect before I act.

I want some of the old me back.

Not the fool, just a bit of the foolishness.