Pre-regretting in order to not live with Regret...
What I think I might regret after my kids leave the house if I don't change my ways:
1. Spending to much time working.
2. Spending too much time working even when I'm home.
3. Spending too much time working in my head even when I'm with them.
4. Coming home a little later than usual and missing dinner with them.
5. Watching entirely too much TV.
6. Watching "my" shows upstairs while they watch 'their' shows downstairs with mom.
7. Cohabitating and Coexisting in the same home but not really living together in the later years.
8. Letting date nights tail off toward the end because they don't seem as interested.
9. Scrolling through my phone to kill time in the "in between" moments of life.
10. Not taking them too school once they got their license...that 10 minutes in the morning is huge.
11. Not spending as much time laying with them at night talking and praying because of homework.
12. Going to bed early instead of staying up and watching "White Christmas" (fill-in-the-blank) with them.
13. Not sitting down and helping them with homework in the early years because it's mind-numbing.
14. Not playing outside with them, but instead telling them to take their horseplay downstairs in the basement.
15. Managing them instead of Parenting them. Administrating instead of Disciplining.
16. Parenting them instead of Playing with them.
17. Letting dumb things occupy my mind instead of looking for ways to climb into their worlds.
18. Not playing more interactive board games instead of just listening to music and watching movies.
19. Not reading the Bible with them and asking them what they think about what we've read.
20. Not intentionally discipling them, individually and collectively. (I realize this is hard to define.)
21. Not inviting them to join me on ministry ventures enough...trips, conferences, etc. To see with their own eyes.
22. Being careful to share about the good happening in life and not just the few bad things. Sharing your day can be about venting about the one thing instead of taking joy in the several things.
23. Being more intentional about loving their mom in front of them. Over the years, familiarity can take the edge of demonstrative love.
24. Praying for them more religiously each morning, by name and by specifics.
25. Having better rights of passage at critical moments along the way...taking more time to think about passing along symbolic mementoes that they can carry with them into life.
26. Engaging apologetics more with them...helping them defend their faith and life in a world that will surely make them feel stupid.
27. Writing more little notes and texts and letters to affirm my love and their identity.
28. Following the prompting of the Spirit to just go up to their rooms when they are asleep and praying warfare prayers of protection and impartation over them.
29. Wasting time wondering if I'm doing everything right instead of just being present in the moment and trusting the God is patient and so are my kids.
30. Apologizing enough when I missed the mark in the moment...I don't want to just rack 'em up and make a sweeping apology at the end...like a confessional.
31. Listening, really listening, to them at each stage of their life and seeking to understand where they are coming from instead of just knowing what they "should be thinking" and "will ultimately think" when they "know better".
32. Trusting them earlier with bigger things...letting them fail and being there to pick them up and cheer them on when they do.
33. Being too harsh with my voice and words over things that aren't that big a deal all things considered. Letting my anger win on certain nights after a day of disappointment.
34. Letting my propensity to anxiety cloud our home like a low-lying fog. Not fighting hard enough to get that spirit to submit and that countenance to transform before it covers the home like a wet blanket.
35. Mulling over intentions instead of doing the hard work of turning them into indisputable actions.
36. Sitting at computers like this, here, today, writing out thoughts like this and then letting them dissipate as the day dilutes my desires. That's heartbreaking.
37. Lastly, dwelling in "would'a could'a should'a" while there's still time left to do it. (which is today)
(I think about such things so that hopefully I don't think too late about such things)
1. Spending to much time working.
2. Spending too much time working even when I'm home.
3. Spending too much time working in my head even when I'm with them.
4. Coming home a little later than usual and missing dinner with them.
5. Watching entirely too much TV.
6. Watching "my" shows upstairs while they watch 'their' shows downstairs with mom.
7. Cohabitating and Coexisting in the same home but not really living together in the later years.
8. Letting date nights tail off toward the end because they don't seem as interested.
9. Scrolling through my phone to kill time in the "in between" moments of life.
10. Not taking them too school once they got their license...that 10 minutes in the morning is huge.
11. Not spending as much time laying with them at night talking and praying because of homework.
12. Going to bed early instead of staying up and watching "White Christmas" (fill-in-the-blank) with them.
13. Not sitting down and helping them with homework in the early years because it's mind-numbing.
14. Not playing outside with them, but instead telling them to take their horseplay downstairs in the basement.
15. Managing them instead of Parenting them. Administrating instead of Disciplining.
16. Parenting them instead of Playing with them.
17. Letting dumb things occupy my mind instead of looking for ways to climb into their worlds.
18. Not playing more interactive board games instead of just listening to music and watching movies.
19. Not reading the Bible with them and asking them what they think about what we've read.
20. Not intentionally discipling them, individually and collectively. (I realize this is hard to define.)
21. Not inviting them to join me on ministry ventures enough...trips, conferences, etc. To see with their own eyes.
22. Being careful to share about the good happening in life and not just the few bad things. Sharing your day can be about venting about the one thing instead of taking joy in the several things.
23. Being more intentional about loving their mom in front of them. Over the years, familiarity can take the edge of demonstrative love.
24. Praying for them more religiously each morning, by name and by specifics.
25. Having better rights of passage at critical moments along the way...taking more time to think about passing along symbolic mementoes that they can carry with them into life.
26. Engaging apologetics more with them...helping them defend their faith and life in a world that will surely make them feel stupid.
27. Writing more little notes and texts and letters to affirm my love and their identity.
28. Following the prompting of the Spirit to just go up to their rooms when they are asleep and praying warfare prayers of protection and impartation over them.
29. Wasting time wondering if I'm doing everything right instead of just being present in the moment and trusting the God is patient and so are my kids.
30. Apologizing enough when I missed the mark in the moment...I don't want to just rack 'em up and make a sweeping apology at the end...like a confessional.
31. Listening, really listening, to them at each stage of their life and seeking to understand where they are coming from instead of just knowing what they "should be thinking" and "will ultimately think" when they "know better".
32. Trusting them earlier with bigger things...letting them fail and being there to pick them up and cheer them on when they do.
33. Being too harsh with my voice and words over things that aren't that big a deal all things considered. Letting my anger win on certain nights after a day of disappointment.
34. Letting my propensity to anxiety cloud our home like a low-lying fog. Not fighting hard enough to get that spirit to submit and that countenance to transform before it covers the home like a wet blanket.
35. Mulling over intentions instead of doing the hard work of turning them into indisputable actions.
36. Sitting at computers like this, here, today, writing out thoughts like this and then letting them dissipate as the day dilutes my desires. That's heartbreaking.
37. Lastly, dwelling in "would'a could'a should'a" while there's still time left to do it. (which is today)
(I think about such things so that hopefully I don't think too late about such things)
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