People affect me...
"...and now we really live knowing that you are walking in the faith." - I Thess. 3:8
I can't help it. I'm not sure I want to try and help it. People affect me.
When I hear a story of someone's growth demonstrated by a decision they've made based on maturity rooted in a deepening faith and identity in Christ, I am emboldened and encouraged. I feel air pumping up my deflated tires. I feel wind filling my flaccid sails. I feel a bounce in my step as I start the day. It does something to inspire me, keeping me alive inside.
But the converse is also true. When I hear of someone's death spiral, I instantly feel an ache under my sternum. I ache with a mix of disappointment and abandonment. My heart loses life as I consider heights from which they've fallen and the loss of discernment that led to the decision to leave the responsibility and accountability of community and follow their carnal urges. It is deflating to my spirit...discouraging at a core level.
I know there is a theological line of thinking that if you're living for Christ, then you will not be affected nor encumbered by the shifting sand of people's undulations. You will be so motivated by the constancy and consistency of the character of God that the character of people will matter so little because ultimately God is responsible for their growth and they are responsible for there decisions, so you don't have to worry about it or concern yourself with the congruency or hypocrisy of someone's life. How wonderful this would be if this sort of detachment was biblically based...it's just not.
You can't read the epistles without seeing Paul overtly interested in the well being of people and especially whether they were continuing to live for God in his absence. He would send people to go "find out how people were doing because he was afraid for them" (I Thess. 3) that Satan would deceive them and they would regress into their former way of life. It mattered that much to him...he would rip open his chest cavity and let people know of how much their lives mattered and meant to him. How much their actions encouraged or discouraged him. How many tears he would shed when they were wayward and how much joy he would share when they followed the ways of Jesus despite opposition. He was vested. He was all in. He was inextricably bound to them, heart and soul.
So this idea that trusting God means not being affected by the actions and attitudes of other human beings is hogwash. I think there can be a dangerous co-dependance leading to a burden we weren't meant to bear, but I don't know many who let the relationship go that deep. Most keep a safe distance between their heart and the heart of others, so when it turns out to not go as hoped, it doesn't matter too much. People don't "get their hopes up" for that reason. They don't bind their hearts to people so that when they go down, they feel as if they are going down with them. They have psychological escape hatches, safety nets, and security blankets nearby in the event that things don't work out. A plan B is right there to scoop them up and sooth them.
But what happens when you give yourself to the hearts of those you choose to love. The risk of hurt is hanging in the balance like a drop of mercury. But the thrill and possibility of growth is right there as well. It could go either way...and it matters. Your heart could be broken, yes. But it could also experience real life, you could "really live" as you offer yourself to others. You are at their disposal.
You disposal is such a powerful thing to offer people. It will affect you...and it should.
I can't help it. I'm not sure I want to try and help it. People affect me.
When I hear a story of someone's growth demonstrated by a decision they've made based on maturity rooted in a deepening faith and identity in Christ, I am emboldened and encouraged. I feel air pumping up my deflated tires. I feel wind filling my flaccid sails. I feel a bounce in my step as I start the day. It does something to inspire me, keeping me alive inside.
But the converse is also true. When I hear of someone's death spiral, I instantly feel an ache under my sternum. I ache with a mix of disappointment and abandonment. My heart loses life as I consider heights from which they've fallen and the loss of discernment that led to the decision to leave the responsibility and accountability of community and follow their carnal urges. It is deflating to my spirit...discouraging at a core level.
I know there is a theological line of thinking that if you're living for Christ, then you will not be affected nor encumbered by the shifting sand of people's undulations. You will be so motivated by the constancy and consistency of the character of God that the character of people will matter so little because ultimately God is responsible for their growth and they are responsible for there decisions, so you don't have to worry about it or concern yourself with the congruency or hypocrisy of someone's life. How wonderful this would be if this sort of detachment was biblically based...it's just not.
You can't read the epistles without seeing Paul overtly interested in the well being of people and especially whether they were continuing to live for God in his absence. He would send people to go "find out how people were doing because he was afraid for them" (I Thess. 3) that Satan would deceive them and they would regress into their former way of life. It mattered that much to him...he would rip open his chest cavity and let people know of how much their lives mattered and meant to him. How much their actions encouraged or discouraged him. How many tears he would shed when they were wayward and how much joy he would share when they followed the ways of Jesus despite opposition. He was vested. He was all in. He was inextricably bound to them, heart and soul.
So this idea that trusting God means not being affected by the actions and attitudes of other human beings is hogwash. I think there can be a dangerous co-dependance leading to a burden we weren't meant to bear, but I don't know many who let the relationship go that deep. Most keep a safe distance between their heart and the heart of others, so when it turns out to not go as hoped, it doesn't matter too much. People don't "get their hopes up" for that reason. They don't bind their hearts to people so that when they go down, they feel as if they are going down with them. They have psychological escape hatches, safety nets, and security blankets nearby in the event that things don't work out. A plan B is right there to scoop them up and sooth them.
But what happens when you give yourself to the hearts of those you choose to love. The risk of hurt is hanging in the balance like a drop of mercury. But the thrill and possibility of growth is right there as well. It could go either way...and it matters. Your heart could be broken, yes. But it could also experience real life, you could "really live" as you offer yourself to others. You are at their disposal.
You disposal is such a powerful thing to offer people. It will affect you...and it should.
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