A father and his son...

I got a text from my Dad yesterday that was unexpected...

"Hi Jay, Hope your day is going well. You must be getting excited to see Kami tonight! What a great year she had at college! I was wondering if this weekend was a good time to come to work on the storage closet? Your Mom is going to N. Carolina with Angela over the weekend so I have some free time. Does Aly have any soccer games? I can work on my own so I don’t need to be entertained. If it is not a good time just let me know. I could come Friday afternoon do some measurements and get the materials. What do you think?"

This is unlike him.  He's never been one to initiate, though the last several years since his liver transplant I've noticed him moving towards me and seeing the value of deep connection.  But anyway, getting a text (he never texts me) like this offering to come (without Mom) to go to a soccer game and stay with us a couple days to put shelves in our basement is really a first.

It's crazy how much things like this mean to me these days.  I suppose if this would have happened even ten years ago, I wouldn't have thought much of it, but time is fleeting and life is fragile.  We almost lost my dad 5 years ago, and there's something about that that just wakes you up to the brevity and gravity of life.  But it's not just him getting older; I'm getting older, too.

I've seen my strength fade and watched my first daughter head off to college.  I've noticed that days go by at warp speed and you don't have all the time in the world like you think when you're younger.  Making the most of moments is of greater and greater value to me as the days pass like sand through an hourglass.  

That's why these spontaneous texts are rare and beautiful opportunities to share a moment with my father that may never ever happen again.  You can think they will, but you never know.  All I know is that I can't wait to see his face and to talk with him and spend time with him.  I can't wait to have him at our house alone and to see him "help us".  With his ailing body, I have heard him say that he wishes he could help us more...financially, with the kids, cutting wood, etc.  He doesn't want to just be a burden that is always needing help, he wants to offer something to the story.  He loves to make things happen like he used to.  He wants to provide...it's what he's done ever since he was a young man/father/husband, and that dignity is something you take for granted until it feels like you have nothing to give and no strength to give it even if you did.  So this is huge for him and it means a great deal to me.

These times with my dad won't last forever, at least not down here on this planet.  So I want to 'seize the days' that we have exchanging meaning and making memories that will never fade.  No matter how much time passes there is nothing quite like the relationship of a father and his son.  A man and his boy.  That's what I think is happening this weekend and the shelves in the basement are just an excuse to be together.