Jack passes away and Caleb accepts Jesus...
Yesterday my dear brother in Christ, Jack, went to be with Jesus. He was 92 years old with a mind as sharp as a tack right to the very end. I met him 5 years ago when he started coming to our church after his 2nd wife passed away. One of the first times I met him was in the back of church where he said to me, "I feel like I've been born again. For years I had Jesus in my head and now I have him in my heart." I gave him a hug, asked if I could meet him on Thursday for coffee, and that was the beginning of meeting every Thursday for coffee and conversation. I so enjoyed our times together of talking about history, current events, our church, his family and friendships, golf, politics, the Lowell community, etc.
He was so gracious about encouraging me in whatever endeavor I was undertaking. He was a great cheerleader, always positive and grateful. He thought I would visit him each week so that he would stay encouraged, he didn't understand it was the other way around. There is something about being with that generation that centers me and now I have to find who to meet with on Thursdays from here on. I think I know who it's going to be 'cause a black lady at Fountain View will always sit outside her door when I visit Jack and I will often give her a hug on the way to his room. It hit me yesterday that I think I need to ask if she will meet with me each week. I want to carry on that rhythm in my life. I will miss Jack tremendously, but I'm so thankful he is with Jesus now. He's right where he wanted to be.
Like God does, he often uses the pain of one event to open up an opportunity elsewhere. I was putting my boys to bed the night before his passing and talking about Jack and how he was going to Heaven to see Jesus soon. Caleb, who is rarely still, calmed down and began asking about Heaven and so I described what happens after you die.
"Do you know how old Daddy was when I asked Jesus into my heart so that I could go to Heaven when I died?"
Both boys shook their heads no. (I know I'd talked to them about this before, but it shows that at different stages and ages of life, things connect.)
"I was 5 years old and my mom talked to me about Jesus dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven. We knelt by the couch and I prayed to invite Jesus into my heart."
"I did that already." Caleb blurted out.
"You did what?"
"I asked Jesus to come into my heart, but he didn't."
I asked when he did this and where he did this and he said he did it one day at school when he did something bad. He said that he asked Jesus to come into his heart so that he wouldn't do bad things anymore, but that he didn't come in. We talked about that for a little bit and I tried to explain things a little better to him since I felt he was confused. Then I talked more about when I asked Jesus into my heart with my mom beside me.
"I remember my mom said a prayer and I repeated after her. The prayer went like this..."
Dear Jesus (Dear Jesus) I repeated...
I know that I'm a sinner (I know that I'm a sinner)
and that you died for my sins (and that you died for my sins)
so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven (so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven)
please come into my heart and save me (please come into my heart and save me)
In Jesus Name, Amen. (In Jesus Name, Amen.)
Caleb immediately said, "Can we do that now?"
"We sure can. Do you want to come kneel by Josh's bed with me?"
He moved from his bed and came and knelt on the floor with Josh and me.
"Ok, I'll say the prayer and then you can repeat after me."
"No...I don't want to." he said.
"I'm not making you do this. If you don't want to ask Jesus into your heart, we can wait until you really feel you want to." I thought he was feeling awkward or pressured.
"No, I want to pray myself."
"Oh, ok." I had no idea what kind of prayer was going to come out of his mouth, but he was bound and determined to pray all by himself to ask Jesus into his heart. He started his prayer...
"Dear Jesus, thank you for the food...." I stopped him right there.
"Caleb, we aren't praying for dinner, this is a real prayer to be saved. This is special and I don't want you to say stuff you don't mean."
He quickly defended himself, "Dad, I just was thanking God for the food we had today, that's all."
I felt a little chided. So I said sorry and let him keep going.
"Dear Jesus, thank you for the food and for the great day we had today. I pray for Jack to be able to rest. I ask you to come into my heart. In Jesus Name, Amen."
As he finished, I asked if I could say a couple things he could repeat and he said yes.
"God, I know that I'm a sinner"...he repeated the words "God, I know that I'm a sinner"
"and that you died for my sins" (and that you died for my sins)
"forgive me and save me" (forgive me and save me)
I paused for a second to think about how to end the prayer and while I was thinking he blurted out...
"and Jesus, I love you so, so much."
I turned to him and said, "Yes, that's so important in this prayer. Sometimes that gets forgotten."
"In Jesu's Name, Amen." (In Jesus' Name, Amen.)
When he finished, a huge smile filled his face--though he's missing his two front teeth--and he just lunged toward me to give me a hug. I told him, "Jesus is in your heart now buddy. Even if you don't feel it, he's there and he will never leave you. He will help you to be the good boy that you want to be...you don't just have to try hard on your own anymore. He's living inside you."
"He's inside me right now? That's so cool!"
"Yep. He's in your heart. Your heart is like his home now."
"But how can he be in me and in you?"
"He is very powerful and has the ability to be in everyone person's heart who asked him to come in. Not everyone has that kind of superpower, but he does."
He smiled and pulled up his covers under his chin.
I turned and asked Josh if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart and he shook his head.
"No, not right now."
I don't know why, but I was glad that he was thinking through it enough that he didn't want to just copy Caleb because that is something that he would normally do with other stuff. It's like he could tell that this was different and he wasn't ready. It wasn't like he wanted to play the game Caleb just played to get a big hug from dad...he knew the hug was connected to the decision and it wasn't his time. I told him that is was something I wanted him to do when he was ready and that I loved him very much.
I tucked them both in bed, we prayed, and then I shut off the light and left the room.
As Jack passed away, Caleb came alive. I felt like it was the best gift I could have that night. In the midst of deep sadness I experienced a parent's greatest joy...the salvation of their child.
I will never forget this day...a day of loss and gain. It's a great, great day. Caleb experienced his second adoption...the most important one. He is now a child of God welcomed into the His great family.
He was so gracious about encouraging me in whatever endeavor I was undertaking. He was a great cheerleader, always positive and grateful. He thought I would visit him each week so that he would stay encouraged, he didn't understand it was the other way around. There is something about being with that generation that centers me and now I have to find who to meet with on Thursdays from here on. I think I know who it's going to be 'cause a black lady at Fountain View will always sit outside her door when I visit Jack and I will often give her a hug on the way to his room. It hit me yesterday that I think I need to ask if she will meet with me each week. I want to carry on that rhythm in my life. I will miss Jack tremendously, but I'm so thankful he is with Jesus now. He's right where he wanted to be.
Like God does, he often uses the pain of one event to open up an opportunity elsewhere. I was putting my boys to bed the night before his passing and talking about Jack and how he was going to Heaven to see Jesus soon. Caleb, who is rarely still, calmed down and began asking about Heaven and so I described what happens after you die.
"Do you know how old Daddy was when I asked Jesus into my heart so that I could go to Heaven when I died?"
Both boys shook their heads no. (I know I'd talked to them about this before, but it shows that at different stages and ages of life, things connect.)
"I was 5 years old and my mom talked to me about Jesus dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven. We knelt by the couch and I prayed to invite Jesus into my heart."
"I did that already." Caleb blurted out.
"You did what?"
"I asked Jesus to come into my heart, but he didn't."
I asked when he did this and where he did this and he said he did it one day at school when he did something bad. He said that he asked Jesus to come into his heart so that he wouldn't do bad things anymore, but that he didn't come in. We talked about that for a little bit and I tried to explain things a little better to him since I felt he was confused. Then I talked more about when I asked Jesus into my heart with my mom beside me.
"I remember my mom said a prayer and I repeated after her. The prayer went like this..."
Dear Jesus (Dear Jesus) I repeated...
I know that I'm a sinner (I know that I'm a sinner)
and that you died for my sins (and that you died for my sins)
so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven (so that I could be forgiven and go to heaven)
please come into my heart and save me (please come into my heart and save me)
In Jesus Name, Amen. (In Jesus Name, Amen.)
Caleb immediately said, "Can we do that now?"
"We sure can. Do you want to come kneel by Josh's bed with me?"
He moved from his bed and came and knelt on the floor with Josh and me.
"Ok, I'll say the prayer and then you can repeat after me."
"No...I don't want to." he said.
"I'm not making you do this. If you don't want to ask Jesus into your heart, we can wait until you really feel you want to." I thought he was feeling awkward or pressured.
"No, I want to pray myself."
"Oh, ok." I had no idea what kind of prayer was going to come out of his mouth, but he was bound and determined to pray all by himself to ask Jesus into his heart. He started his prayer...
"Dear Jesus, thank you for the food...." I stopped him right there.
"Caleb, we aren't praying for dinner, this is a real prayer to be saved. This is special and I don't want you to say stuff you don't mean."
He quickly defended himself, "Dad, I just was thanking God for the food we had today, that's all."
I felt a little chided. So I said sorry and let him keep going.
"Dear Jesus, thank you for the food and for the great day we had today. I pray for Jack to be able to rest. I ask you to come into my heart. In Jesus Name, Amen."
As he finished, I asked if I could say a couple things he could repeat and he said yes.
"God, I know that I'm a sinner"...he repeated the words "God, I know that I'm a sinner"
"and that you died for my sins" (and that you died for my sins)
"forgive me and save me" (forgive me and save me)
I paused for a second to think about how to end the prayer and while I was thinking he blurted out...
"and Jesus, I love you so, so much."
I turned to him and said, "Yes, that's so important in this prayer. Sometimes that gets forgotten."
"In Jesu's Name, Amen." (In Jesus' Name, Amen.)
When he finished, a huge smile filled his face--though he's missing his two front teeth--and he just lunged toward me to give me a hug. I told him, "Jesus is in your heart now buddy. Even if you don't feel it, he's there and he will never leave you. He will help you to be the good boy that you want to be...you don't just have to try hard on your own anymore. He's living inside you."
"He's inside me right now? That's so cool!"
"Yep. He's in your heart. Your heart is like his home now."
"But how can he be in me and in you?"
"He is very powerful and has the ability to be in everyone person's heart who asked him to come in. Not everyone has that kind of superpower, but he does."
He smiled and pulled up his covers under his chin.
I turned and asked Josh if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart and he shook his head.
"No, not right now."
I don't know why, but I was glad that he was thinking through it enough that he didn't want to just copy Caleb because that is something that he would normally do with other stuff. It's like he could tell that this was different and he wasn't ready. It wasn't like he wanted to play the game Caleb just played to get a big hug from dad...he knew the hug was connected to the decision and it wasn't his time. I told him that is was something I wanted him to do when he was ready and that I loved him very much.
I tucked them both in bed, we prayed, and then I shut off the light and left the room.
As Jack passed away, Caleb came alive. I felt like it was the best gift I could have that night. In the midst of deep sadness I experienced a parent's greatest joy...the salvation of their child.
I will never forget this day...a day of loss and gain. It's a great, great day. Caleb experienced his second adoption...the most important one. He is now a child of God welcomed into the His great family.
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