Suicide and my daughter's heart...

This blog is gonna be a departure from the norm.

This morning kinda changed things in our home when we received news that one of Aly's friends from the Summer Camp she attends each year at Lake Anne took his own life.  I received the phone call and immediately called Heidi to see what we should do and she thought it would be best if we went up to the school, got her out of lunch, and told her personally.  So we did.

I've never seen my daughter more shattered in all her life. The terror, confusion, ache, disbelief, sorrow, and waves of tears intermingled as we tried to be present in her pain.  Suicide has hit close to home for me as a pastor, but this is the first time that it really hit her in the first person.  Seeing my wife's tears and wiping away my own as we cried with our daughter reminded me that we live in a very broken and hurting world.  I try to focus on the goodness of God around me and to be a beacon of hope as much as I can, but there are times when I'm crushed under the weight of this world and all its pain and suffering.  My heart pangs within me today...for my daughter, for her friend who took his life (wondering how much he must have been hurting inside to do this), for his family who is left behind to grieve this unspeakable loss, for the rings of friends and family that are crushed in spirit across the world...the gravity of depravity feels unbearable in this moment. 

Apart from Christ I don't know how anyone survives such trauma. 

I don't have any more words at the moment other than to ask for you to pray for my daughter.  Seeing her heartbreak is excruciating.  I'm praying that God wraps her up in his arms, speaks peace and truth into her soul, and brings encouragement into her life that helps her feel that she is not alone, that she is known and loved.  I hate watching the darkness steal away innocence in my children one moment and one event at a time...my prayer is that she will walk through this valley of the shadow of death with God and come out the other side more like Him.  More compassionate.  More merciful.  More kind. 

I simply ask for you pray for this family who lost their son and for my daughter who lost her friend.  May the Comforter, God's Spirit, descend on each heart affected and be ever so present in this moment.

Thank you from bottom of my father-heart...

Jason