Thoughts I have before I preach going into the weekend...

Here we go...

1.     Nobody is going to come because nobody really cares…they’ve got better things to do on this beautiful weekend.

2.     You got nothin’ to say worth listening to for 40 minutes…it’s not interesting and they won’t be interested.

3.     What you’re saying might be better if you tweaked it a little more…just change out a few things.

4.     Who are you to speak on behalf of God?  You've got so many issues yourself and you’re going to stand up there and preach?  Sheesh.

5.     How do you know whether what you put together was you or God?  Are the things you’re going to say your words or God’s Words?

6.     There aren’t enough catchy illustrations or funny stories.  Come on, man, people need to be entertained to pay attention.

7.     People are used to things being stellar out there.  You better bring the thunder man or they will change the channel and tune you out.

8.     Why would people want to hear what you have to say when they can get online and hear the best communicators in the world preach to them while staying in their pajamas?

9.     You’re getting redundant, man.  They’ve heard this stuff before, you gotta up your game and bring some fresh stuff to the table to eat.

10.  Where’s the creativity in your presentation?  It’s gotta be sticky and in order for people to remark on your message later in the week it’s got to be remarkable.

11.  There are so many other activities going on in people’s lives that church just ain’t one of the top priorities anymore, bro.  Don’t take it personal, it’s just how it is.

12.  You think people are coming to the Saturday Night service tonight when all their favorite teams are playing?  Are you out of you mind, son?

13.  Just because you care about what you’ve got to say doesn’t mean anyone else does.  You’ve been thinking about it all week…they haven’t.

14.  You’re running out of good ideas and your teaching style is getting predictable and dry.  You might want to think about reinventing yourself.

15.  People just aren’t being fed.  You gotta go deeper and give them the nutritious stuff man and frankly your offering is not cutting it.

I suppose I’ll stop there.  Just in case you ever wondered what it’s like to be in my head going into a weekend (maybe other pastors out there as well, I don’t know), there you have it.  This is obviously the negative muse that badgers me.  I also have the Holy Spirit who whispers empowering encouragement to defeat these musings.  Maybe I’ll share those in my next entry.